Me and My Women #2 - E

Lesson learned from this woman:
Feelings can be a never ending story.

This will be a very vague story, because most of this is interpretation from my part. I met E, if I remember correctly (and this isn't all that reliable), about half a year after the very first story with C went downhill. E was a very beautiful and selfconcious girl, the best friend of a friend of mine. We both were watching over new kids of our school on special weekends designed to get the parents of the kids together and organized. I don't know how the attraction towards each other started, it was just there. We were fooling around and comforted each other, had fun in the evenings and whenever there was time. Back then I was never sure if what I felt was what I thought it was, and if what I thought she might be feeling was what she actually felt, because we never ever spoke about those things. And before I could clarify, those weekends were already over.

Whenever we met outside of these weekends, for example on school ground, we'd be fooling around aswell, always on some weird sarcastic level. She'd compliment me about something, I'd take it as a joke, and make fun of something about her, and we'd all laugh. There was a certain attraction, but it never broke through some invisible wall which held us apart. I think we both thought it wouldn't work or the other one isn't seriously interested. Plus, she quickly got involved with some guy, yet kept fooling around with me. At some point I got involved with M and we lost contact, though when we met, we still got along very well.

In late 2007 we had contact again, after M had broken up with me, and I was more or less happily single. She told me she had a letter for me which she'd give me on a prom we were both going to. When I received it and read it, I was baffled. It was a diary entry of back in the days when we were both on these weekends, where she exlpained in detail what happened, and how she thinks how cute and cool and caring I am, and how much fun she has with me, but on the other hand her final sentence was something like "Yet I still have to stick to [her future boyfriend]". Reading those lines of how cute and awesome I am made me feel weird. It showed me I could've maybe worked something out with her, which had been a dream back then, and she was still a beautiful and confident woman, plus she is clever. You know how it is, everything comes back at you.

Though, after a few calls and chats the contact broke up again, until recently, when we met on her graduationparty and her grade's prom, where I felt a certain attraction (god I'm telling you she is beautiful), and I definately had the feeling she was flirting with me, but apparently, after a little chat with a friend of hers, that is just her way of showing she likes someone in a friend-way. So I decided to pull together and enjoy the presence. I still think she is very adorable and definately would be a candidate, but I am a little late there.